Bent over the moan of a broken bass, above a stage built and drenched by the sweat of my open pores; smothered by rain and wind so densely focused that my shallow lungs threatened to slim like their thinning frame; floating aimlessly about an empty airport, a loose aggregate of ripped denim, split nerves, tangled sinews. My body has been a lot of things lately.
It would be harder to describe what’s been going on inside.
I should be grateful, then, that I’m so goddamn far behind the present day in putting the events of my life into words. Those most recent make it hard to find the right ones to use — if these happenings are at all literary, it’s yet unclear what makes them literature. Things will come into focus over time, as they always do, but for now I will simply go back and continue detailing the fading Story as best my tired mind can manage, presuming all the while that these things really matter one way or another at the end of the day. Either way, whatever the present happens to mean in the long run, it certainly feels like a condemnation in the moment. More than a few times, lately, I’ve shaken a fist at the grey and spitting expanse above me.
Right at the very moment, I’m 38 thousand above a black ocean, and much further below its darker, distant mirror image. Sleepless and anguished (first physically and then mentally), I want nothing more than to shut off for a very good long while. But such a concise and friendly coma seems a bit much to ask, at this point, and I can only hope this ireful land toward which I drift decides to take it easy on me. My time there will be brief.
Comments ( 3 )
anonymous wrote on Aug 10 09 at 7:25 pmwrite more
soyrev wrote on Aug 29 09 at 3:01 pmThank you, kindly unknown. I wrote this emo little post so that I’d feel embarrassed by it a few days later and thereby compelled to write something new, but that didn’t really work out. So now I’ve had pretty emo blog for about a month.
I’ll write something new when I get the chance…But with another big transition happening tomorrow, not sure when that’ll be. Thanks for staying tuned, though.
soyrev wrote on Sep 20 09 at 9:56 amI’ve written so many entries for this page, only to get bored with it halfway through and abort. Maybe I’ll finish something one of these days.